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Macedonia Ohrid
25.09.2008, 20:16
Forumashi, idemo malo sa viceve.Onako...da se malo razvedrimo pre odlaska preko bare. :)

xeg
25.09.2008, 23:35
Ti si bas neki druzeljubiv lik:)

Evo jednog od preko:

Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table.
The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat.

- "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast.," he says.

The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs.
She asks the middle child what he wants.

- "Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin’ French toast for me!" he says.

She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away.
Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast.

- "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v124/fingaup/Smileys/pardon.gif

Macedonia Ohrid
27.09.2008, 17:33
The CEO of McDonald's gets an audience with the Pope. He says, "I'd like to give $500 million to the church, and all we ask in return is that for one year, you change the line in the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily Big Mac.' " The Pope says, "I really can't." So the CEO says, "I can double it to a billion dollars, and that's as far as I can go." The Pope says, "Let me talk this over with my cardinals and get back to you." He addresses the cardinals in a convocation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is we're going to receive a billion dollars from McDonald's for one year. The bad news is we blew our deal with bakers."

Macedonia Ohrid
27.09.2008, 17:42
What a woman says:
This place is a mess! C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now!


What a man hears:
Blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON, blah, blah, YOU AND I, blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES, blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW.

landlord
02.10.2008, 22:39
Dragi mužu:



Pišem ti ovo pismo da ti saopštim da te ostavljam zauvek. Sedam godina

sam ti bila dobra žena, a šta sam dobila zauzvrat?



Ove poslednje dve nedelje su bile ravne paklu. Tvoj šef mi je

telefonirao da mi saopšti da si upravo dao otkaz i to je za mene bila

poslednja kap. Prošle nedelje si došao kući a nisi ni primetio da sam

bila kod frizera i manikira, da sam pripremila tvoje omiljeno jelo i

da sam nosila novi negliže. Došao si kući, završio večeru za dva

minuta i otišao pravo u krevet posle utakmice. Ne govoriš mi više da

me voliš, ne grliš me niti bilo šta drugo. Ili me varaš, ili me više

ne voliš, ali šta god da je u pitanju, ja odlazim.



PS. Nemoj se truditi da me tražiš. Tvoj brat i ja se selimo u Zapadnu

Virdžiniju zajedno.



Sa srećom,



Tvoja bivša žena.







Odgovor:



Draga bivša ženo,



Ništa me nije tako obradovalo kao tvoje pismo. Istina je da smo ti i

ja bili sedam godina u braku, mada ti nisi bila ni blizu dobre žene.

Ja gledam sport na televiziji ne bih li se isključio od konstantnog

džvanjkanja. *teta što to ne pomaže. Primetio sam da si se prosle

nedelje ostrigala, ali prvo što mi je palo na pamet bilo je: Izgledaš

kao muškarac! Moja majka me je vaspitala da ukoliko nemam da kažem

ništa lepo, bolje da ne kažem ništa. Kada si pripremala moje omiljeno

jelo, mora da si me pobrkala sa mojim bratom, jer ja sam prestao da

jedem svinjetinu pre sedam godina. Otišao sam da spavam iako si imala

na sebi taj negliže, zato što je cena još uvek bila zakačena. Molio

sam Boga da je to samo slučajnost što je moj brat upravo tog jutra

pozajmio od mene 50 dolara, a da je cena tvog negližea bila 49,99

dolara.



Uprkos svemu, ja sam te još uvek voleo i osećao da mi još uvek možemo

da budemo srećni zajedno. Zato, kad sam saznao da sam dobio 10 miliona

dolara na lotou, dao sam otkaz, i kupio nam 2 karte za Jamajku. Ali,

kad sam došao kući, ti si već bila otišla. Pretpostavljam da se sve

ovo izdešavalo sa razlogom. Nadam se da imaš ispunjen život, kakav si

oduvek želela.



Moj advokat mi je rekao da zbog pisma koje si mi napisala, neću morati

da ti dam ni prebijenu paru. Vodi računa o sebi.



PS. Ne znam da li sam ti ikad rekao, ali moj brat Karl se rodio kao

Karla. Nadam se da to ne predstavlja nikakav problem.



U potpisu:



Prebogat i slobodan.

Macedonia Ohrid
03.10.2008, 17:25
A Boeing jet, flying at 35,000 feet over the Atlantic runs into a terrible storm. Thunder, lightning and high winds toss the big plane around the sky. The passengers are scared! One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane, shouting 'I'm too young to die!'. Then she yells, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there Anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a Woman?' For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. 'I can make you feel like a woman,' he says. He's gorgeous! Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.
No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He slowly removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: 'Iron this.'
P.S Hteo sam da prevedim na srpski ali ne ide bas najbolje.

landlord
08.10.2008, 09:30
Kako se utjeruje dug?
















Isto kao i kratak, samo sto traje malo duze..:)

xeg
23.10.2008, 15:09
Why All Of Us Should Have A Laptop? (http://www.ixibo.com/index.php/2008/10/04/why-all-of-us-should-have-a-laptop/)

Olivera
31.10.2008, 20:42
http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o189/oliverablazeva/serb_panda.jpg

xeg
31.10.2008, 20:49
hahaha... a znate li zasto?
Pa zato jer i mi imamo Pentagon:grin:

Srpski Pentagon
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v124/fingaup/Avatar/SrpskiPentagon.jpg

Misa
11.11.2008, 16:00
Vodi Lala dva kera.

Sretne ga komšija:

* Ju Lalo kako im je fina dlaka. Je l' ih ti to sam češljaš ili neko drugi?
* Pa ovog desnog sam češljam.
* A ovog drugog?
* Pa i njega.
* A jesi li im ti sam sekao uši?
* Pa ovom desnom sam sam sek'o.
* A ovom drugom?
* Pa i tom sam ja sek'o.
* A repovi? Ko im je podrezivao repove?
* Pa ovom desnom sam ja podreziv'o.
* A ovom drugom?
* Pa i tom sam.
* Da ti to mene, Lalo, malo ne zezaš? Što god te pitam ti kažeš prvo za ovog desnog pa onda to isto za onog drugog.
* Pa to je zato što je ovaj desni moj.
* A ovaj drugi?
* Pa i on je.